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What Do You Love Most About Our Move?

Today was a bit of a rough one for me.  I miss my friends.  To be honest, I think the kids have adapted more easily then I have.  They have not complained once about the move. Nor should they. I’ve never seen them so happy running around and exploring, out in nature, & hanging out with their cousins.

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Each morning, they dash out of bed to eat quickly, and then rush off to visit with nano and papa. It’s a joy to have them free to run and play at the crack of dawn while I prepare fresh-baked sourdough,  home-made granola, and a farm fresh fruit smoothie.  With six acres to run around on, they are pooped by the end of the day after tending to chickens and playing with their cousins.

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This place has so much glorious charm: kayaking the bay across the road, running hills, partaking of fresh food (we have our own live-in co-op), and all of the wildlife right at our fingertips, not to mention the hiking.  But when you say the grass is always greener, that is not true.  There is always a trade-off.  We traded convenience, for rural. We traded social chaos for leisure. We traded rushing ourselves crazy to calming the storm. The trade-off is positive, but different.  The thing I miss most is our friends, and our church.

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When we moved, our cell service did not move with us. We have to drive 6 miles to town just for reception. Our catching up with friends, has been minimal. So when we split from our jobs, and all we have ever known, we also severed any socializing we knew.  It’s been super limited, and at times sad.  Yes, we have family. For that I am super thankful.  I cannot imagine moving to a new setting not having those comforts.

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As we look towards the start of school next week, knowing we are trying homeschooling for the first time, I only hope that I can settle in socially for the kids through extracurricular along with a 4-H club.  I look forward to being their teacher, and being able to build their interests individually. This is my first time ever being a stay at home mom. I have really wanted this opportunity to be a bigger part of their days; to influence them whole-heartedly.

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So today when my heart was heavy with “What the hell did we do!”, I was gently reminded why we did what we did.  Ever since Thanksgiving last year, our nightly routine at dinner is to go around and each give thanks with a direct compliment, and for something we are thankful for in general.  Tonight as I proposed the question, “What do you love most about our move?”, the responses settled my heart.  Mallory replied, “I love how much time we have together as a family”. Margeux said, “I love seeing Nano and Papa”. Lastly, Matilda chimed in with, “I love my family”.

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I know the things I don’t miss at all.  I don’t miss my job. I don’t miss the traffic. I don’t miss the anxiety of rushing about.  Spending time with those you love, is absolutely what is important!

 

 

 

 

 

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Tears.

I am a complete mess right now.  Today we picked up the Budget rental truck; all 16 feet of it.  One of our very best friends, Peder Beck and his kind friend Rink assisted in packing the truck in a Tetris style manner, as Kevin and I continued to pack up lingering items.  It was amazing to have their assistance since we didn’t start packing until 5 pm and ended at 9:30 p.m. Amidst the chaos, my children were unattended, and relocated at my neighbors home 2 doors down; who is also their ballet teacher.  We had a couple neighbors filtering in and out to see if we needed anything, and bringing us more boxes.  It made it that much harder having such kindness bestowed upon us. The feeling of gratitude was heavy.

Some of my favorite items did not fit. Though, the receptionist swore that 16 feet would pack a two bedroom home. I had to leave behind my vintage orange armchair with the love tear that is stitched together with blue thread. The children’s Christmas roller coaster did not fit, nor the front porch vintage recliners that I waited 8 years to have stained and find the perfect cushions for.  Many more things that were little just could not fit.  It was both saddening and a realization that they can stay behind and come at a later date.  What we are leaving behind that means much more, are our family, our neighborhood, the kid’s rad school, and our amazing church. Last but not least, friends. Particularly the ones that have become more like family. You know who you are.  We will greatly miss our gatherings, our late night guitar lullabies, potlucks, etc.  You have may this departure incredibly supportive, and we thank you so much for your support.

As I cried in the kitchen,  Kevin and I compared our tight chest and lumps in our throat. I pretty much lost it when my inherited sister called. But, I felt I needed to keep composure for the kids.  So, as I watch them sleep soundly in their sleeping bags on our wood floor, I cannot help but wish I was able to sleep.  I have never, in our almost 13 years of marriage been able to sleep without my hubby.  He departed this evening with our dog in tow.  A boy and his dog.  The girls and their mom.  So strange to be separated in this way.  Much of it felt surreal.  Now, I lay here with phone beside me, typing, and praying for his safe journey.  Praying for his safe return so we can finalize our move and set off together as a family, on this crazy journey.