I am a complete mess right now.  Today we picked up the Budget rental truck; all 16 feet of it.  One of our very best friends, Peder Beck and his kind friend Rink assisted in packing the truck in a Tetris style manner, as Kevin and I continued to pack up lingering items.  It was amazing to have their assistance since we didn’t start packing until 5 pm and ended at 9:30 p.m. Amidst the chaos, my children were unattended, and relocated at my neighbors home 2 doors down; who is also their ballet teacher.  We had a couple neighbors filtering in and out to see if we needed anything, and bringing us more boxes.  It made it that much harder having such kindness bestowed upon us. The feeling of gratitude was heavy.

Some of my favorite items did not fit. Though, the receptionist swore that 16 feet would pack a two bedroom home. I had to leave behind my vintage orange armchair with the love tear that is stitched together with blue thread. The children’s Christmas roller coaster did not fit, nor the front porch vintage recliners that I waited 8 years to have stained and find the perfect cushions for.  Many more things that were little just could not fit.  It was both saddening and a realization that they can stay behind and come at a later date.  What we are leaving behind that means much more, are our family, our neighborhood, the kid’s rad school, and our amazing church. Last but not least, friends. Particularly the ones that have become more like family. You know who you are.  We will greatly miss our gatherings, our late night guitar lullabies, potlucks, etc.  You have may this departure incredibly supportive, and we thank you so much for your support.

As I cried in the kitchen,  Kevin and I compared our tight chest and lumps in our throat. I pretty much lost it when my inherited sister called. But, I felt I needed to keep composure for the kids.  So, as I watch them sleep soundly in their sleeping bags on our wood floor, I cannot help but wish I was able to sleep.  I have never, in our almost 13 years of marriage been able to sleep without my hubby.  He departed this evening with our dog in tow.  A boy and his dog.  The girls and their mom.  So strange to be separated in this way.  Much of it felt surreal.  Now, I lay here with phone beside me, typing, and praying for his safe journey.  Praying for his safe return so we can finalize our move and set off together as a family, on this crazy journey.