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Transparency

Transparency is both a wonderful thing and a scary thing. It can leave you feeling vulnerable yet let out a sigh of relief. It’s been in my nature to allow boldness to lead me when I express myself, and to let the worry come afterwards.

So to be transparent with my readers, I’d say this…

Moving away from all we have ever known has been a much-needed breath of fresh air, yet the hardest thing we’ve done. We’ve moved away from all our comforts, our routines, our connections, and the little house we poured our heart and soul into to make our own. Making sacrifices is sometimes the only way to obtain those things you cannot put a price tag on.

The much-needed breath of fresh air came with each mile we drove; further and further from the nonsense of jobs we loathed. Jobs that provided stable income, great insurance, and could be lifelong.

But those jobs were not us. Those jobs we left a month ago, drained us of spirit and laughter and left us eager to clock out at the end of our shift to pick up where we left it; with each other.

Luckily for us, we are quite compatible and love each other’s company more than anything. I think we have a pretty special relationship the way we both lift one another up and truly seek to bless each other with unconditional support of each ones dreams, goals and endeavors. I think it’s made us richer all along to have such a blessed friendship turned marriage. I can honestly say that I get to spend life alongside my best friend.

When I said “I do”, I meant it. The part for “richer or for poorer” never made more sense then it does now.

I’ve never been more financially poor in my life. It’s been quite a wake up call not affording some of the things I’ve become accustomed to, and at the same time, I’ve never felt more rich. Now, I have the one thing I felt all along was the best commodity anyone could have; because I never had enough. Time!

I finally, after years of working, get a taste at being a stay-at-home mom. I wake to my children and prepare a fresh loaf of sourdough. I am able to prepare intentional meals and do my loved from-scratch cooking. There’s time to read, to take walks, to play. It brings my heart such joy. Our surroundings are something out of Narnia with the vast rivers, forests, and wildlife. I do not take those for granted.

But of course, along with that, I wholeheartedly miss my friends, my roller derby league, our kids’ elementary school, our rad neighbors, and our amazing church. Nothing can replace those.

Why the move? It’s with life’s short season that I want us to die knowing we put our heart and soul into trying to follow our dreams and bless others by the gifts God instilled in us.

Yes, I believe he has our route all mapped out, and uses us regardless. But, I also think he knows our hearts and desires. Through happiness, sorrow, good times and bad, faith led us.

As faith leads us now, and on our tomorrow’s, I only hope that this time we have on this journey, allows us to grow more deeply as a family, more committed to one another, and allows our dreams to be fulfilled.

Because as the saying goes, life is too short. My good friend Jackie who passed away from cancer, reminds me of that daily, and it’s with each minute that tics away, that I attempt to use my time wisely.

Now, off to make peach galettes with cashew cream with my daughters. Glorious sun-kissed, vine-ripened peaches from the orchard. Recipe to follow. Peaches not included.

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2 thoughts on “Transparency

  1. dawn sandoval says:

    As I sit her at 12:16am unable to sleep because of my cough I found myself reading this and of course in turn missing u guys. Love this blog Sommer.

    Like

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